Vase
for Lenore

Sweetness & life of my light
without whom I’d be dead
you lie in the other room sleeping
before the movies you love
the screen gone out blue
the movie long over.
What is a cow
What is a cow
What is a cow
what is a bone
what is a bone fish
what do I do
when I never give you roses?
What does a guy do instead?
Since I’m alive
because of you.
You don’t want expensive roses

“Slow down
even if it takes practice”
The TV says. I just spied on you.
You get up sometimes at night
and can’t go back to sleep
and don’t want to wake me
so you go in there
put on one of your movies
and drift off.
Where I am.
Unless I wake up.
It works
but I miss your not
being in bed when I wake up.
I’m selfish to the end of time.
And I wonder
why don’t I just go pick a flower
and take it to you in
a new vase
which I haven’t bought yet.
That’s what I’ll do.

“Slow down
even if it takes practice”
your TV said to sleeping you.
I spied on you.
I have a plan.
A vase can be used over & over again.
And we have flowers, growing, now, July.
And red roses are expensive, a waste of money
whereas a vase —
we don’t have.
What is a mortgage?
A toenail clipper?
A caboose?
Why am I loose?

Sweetness & life of my light
you pulled me back from drunken disaster
more than once, too many times
with me resenting you all the way.
What can I do
to bring the two of us together?
Bring you coffee, I make
your two mugs every morning
that’s all you ask
& taking care of the house
trying to keep things
from falling apart
in the midst of threats & sickness
we can’t control.
I try to hold things together
and have little strength
need help, all the time.

What is a flower?
We do have a rose
our own roses
I’ll do that.
The vase
and
our own rose.
For you
and me to
work more
building together
something better
for us.

Sweetness & life of my life.
I make your coffee
pour in the milk
& bring it to you.
But I have a plan
what do I do?
In little things
to be grateful for
all you do
all you did do.

What is a flower
what is a rose
what is a cornelia?
your favorite
damask & blanc double
our own.
What is a vase
I will get it bring it to you.
What little
I do.

What can a flower do
but be itself?
Open up
bloom
and die.


/19Jul98